We Are the Same
When we were first introduced to the world of Thi Bui, we witnessed her labor; overwhelming and isolated, it reflected the instability in relation to herself and her family. This takes us back to Thi's childhood where we are exposed to the environment she grew up in. After coming to America, her family experienced racism and struggled through the internal family tensions caused by external stressors. Bo releases his frustrations on Thi and her siblings and neglects any responsibility he has.
This inflects a negative light on Bo, and as the audience we are given all the resources to hate him. As I was reading, I particularly was not fond of Bo. However, after reading deeper into Bo’s childhood, learning about his father, and then his father, we are given an explanation into why he acted the way he did towards his children. The way he acted was a reflection of the treatment he received. Specifically the scene where child Bo disregards his father translated into the scene in the present where he states that he has no parents. This got me thinking about how a “bad” person is not born, but is created through their environment and the adults present. We can see this with all the characters, where Ma’s experience at French school taught her education is freedom and how her mother values the traditional values in the family of her own. The two came from starkly different backgrounds leading to the contrast in ideas and how they carry their responsibilities.
Jumping back to the present, Bo and Thi are no longer separated, revealing they are both considering the past and trying to understand one another. Bo seems to reflect on how he treated his children, seemingly remorseful and ashamed. This supports the idea that generational trauma is deeply rooted into a person, molding the person into their own trauma.
This novel reminds me that all people are living their life for the first time. Our parents are all being parents for the first time, they are the same as us, just at a different timeline. We learn from each other, what to do and what not to do. As kids we make the decision on whether to follow our parents or not. And eventually we will reach our parents age, where our children will look at us the way we look at our parents, forgetting that we are the same.
In chapter one Thi also has this realization as she enters motherhood,
"FAMILY, is now something I have created-and not just something I was born into."
With the birth of her child, she is now facing the responsibility that her parents fell under. Can she diverge from the same path her parents took and make a new life for her and her child?
I like that your reflection connects Thi's overwhelming labor experience to the theme of generational trauma, arguing that understanding a "bad" parent's past like Bo’s shifts the audience's view.
ReplyDeletewow, what a wonderful blog kathy !! this notion of bad people being created, not born is so interesting and profound.this book has really driven a lot of introspection into generational relationships. I really liked how in the book, the transition from children to parent is shown in such a impactful way -- similar to how you've shown it here.
ReplyDeleteI like the reflection you made about the central cycle of the book with generational trauma and making choices. You wrote something along the lines of generational trauma not being escapable but a pattern that is to be broken through choices and the understanding of one’s history.
ReplyDeleteKatherine! I love how you connected the cycle of families where children will grow up and start their own and become parents themselves to how Thi Bui had ver similar revelations as a mother herself. A lot of the book in my opinion consists of her ow reflection being mirrored by the experiences her mom had. Amazing writing can’t wait for next week!
ReplyDeleteRemember gng its genetics environment and randomness :nerd: Alr but the weight of a person's environment growing up truly shapes them for the rest of their life. As kids, we sense cues from the people around us and we mimic it. An experiment was done where kids interacted with snakes, no showing any fear. But it was repeated with parents who were afraid of snakes, and when the parents showed fear, the kids did as well. Bo learned at such a young age the horrors of the world. His early childhood was traumatic, full of cheating and bad parenting in general. He tries to fix it as a parent himself, but he knows he falls short. I think the line that "our parents are all being parents for the first time" is so impactful. We often think of them as far more experienced and wiser than us, even though we are all kinda the same, just at a different point in life.
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